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Download Everyone's Crazy Except You and Me...And I'm Not So Sure by Lionel PDF

By Lionel

Everyone's loopy Here...

In his 20 years at the radio, the mononymous Lionel (''one identify, like God,'' as he's keen on asserting) has solid his attractiveness as an irreverent, ribald, take-no-prisoners analyst of tradition, politics, and the realm at huge. Now America's favourite contrarian takes to the web page with this hilarious user's consultant to our kingdom and tradition.

In Everyone's loopy other than You and Me ... and i am no longer So convinced approximately You , Lionel bargains a suite of hilarious and insightful observations on existence, liberty, and the pursuit of alien lifestyles types. From the chic (Why achieve this many people think in God?) to the ridiculous (Why did he run over his sister's hair with the vacuum cleaner?), Lionel takes his readers on a riotous journey via his global, and ours. A former prosecutor, Lionel examines our best nationwide oxymoron--criminal justice. He hates hate crimes, and argues opposed to drug criminalization and the Son of Sam legislation. he is additionally an indefatigable defender of the 1st modification who however believes that males won't drink mojitos or put on socks with sandals. And lest you think that he simply alternatives at the correct, leisure guaranteed that Lionel has lots to claim approximately Lefties, Centrists, or even barristas.

No topic is off limits right here. No staff is immune--not conservatives, no longer girls, and particularly now not American Homo sapiens.

Consider those imponderables:

  • Why cutting-edge acrobatic expert wrestler is not as good as the beer-bellied hulk of the sixties
  • Why Hazmat matches are worn greater than as soon as, yet now not marriage ceremony robes
  • Why ladies cannot inform jokes
  • Why you have to by no means drink whatever you cannot spell.

An infectious, impossible to resist, and doubtless persuasive ebook that's absolute to entertain and tell, Everyone's loopy other than You and Me ... and i am no longer So convinced approximately You is the correct learn for an individual who questions the nation of our nationwide psychological health and wellbeing. Void the place prohibited via legislation.

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Extra resources for Everyone's Crazy Except You and Me...And I'm Not So Sure About You: America's Favorite Contrarian Cuts Loose

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Laws that penalize conduct with minors require a victim who’s a minor. But in this last case, we’ve added a new twist: The victim can be someone who’s either a minor or someone you think is a minor. Think about it. Under this screwy logic, if you abused a twenty-nine-year-old woman you thought was seventy-five, you can’t be charged with elderly abuse, though you might be referred to an ophthalmologist. The law says rather clearly that you can’t arrange with anyone to have Uncle Wally killed. That’s solicitation for murder.

It’s the first place I went to the morning of 9/11. It may, in fact, be the last of the Mohicans. People really talk at my pub and, get this, people really 49 Everyone’s Crazy Except You and Me... listen. A think tank with beer mugs, my pub is the meeting place for a group of motley prevaricators I lovingly refer to as the Retarded Algonquin Round Table. Archie Bunker holds court there, sitting in the same seat every day without fail. As they say, I’d rather be with those people than the finest people on this planet.

Namely: ✦ Drinking is NOT about getting drunk. If you’re drunk, you’ve lost the game. Now, you can be “overserved,” which is a subtle distinction. Being overserved is a state which comes about when a demanding publican fails to gauge your impending inebriety and you accede to his plyings out of courtesy. In other words, you’ve had too much. But it’s not your fault. You were excessively presented with hootch. The same thing happens at fast-food joints when the fourteen-year-old be- 51 Everyone’s Crazy Except You and Me...

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