By Verena Tschudin, Jane Schober (auth.)
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Extra resources for Managing Yourself
1995) Caring; An Essay in the Philosophy of Ethics. Niwot, CO: University Press of Colorado. 34 Chapter 4 Asserting yourself An assertive person is one who gets his or her needs and wants met without stepping on the rights of others. (Egan, 1977, p. 267) Tact is a method of putting your foot down without treading on anyone's toes. (Anon) Assertiveness has come to the fore with the feminist movement and is sometimes seen to be something peculiar to women. In practice, however, this is not true.
The baby needs its mother: the baby is not OK but the mother who feeds and changes it is OK. There comes a time when the baby needs the mother but she lets the baby cry and does not pick it up: the baby is not OK, needing help, but the mother denies this - she is not OK either. The child learns to walk and be independent: the child becomes OK, but the parent constantly tells it not to do this or that he or she cannot have that - the parent is definitely not OK. Very much later in life perhaps only in middle age - a person learns to be OK from deep within and to accept that other people are also OK.
In the early stages of stress, the physical symptoms are the most obvious signs that something is amiss. Common coping mechanisms come into play, such as: • • • • • • being tired and sleepy; overeating; drinking; heavy smoking; uncalled-for aggression; withdrawing. 51 Managing Yourself • • Do you recognise any of these signs in yourself? Are these signs there all the time or only at particular moments? It has been said that reading and learning about stress gives you stress where before you had coped very well!